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Your husband does that?!
I was recently at an evening work event where a woman said to me, "Your husband agreed to put the kids to bed?"
I'd like to say that I was shocked that anyone would ask such a question, but I’m not. The vast majority of couples I know with children are living an updated version of the 50's lifestyle. Many mothers are working outside the home while still being almost solely responsible for changing dirty diapers, cooking dinners, giving baths, and putting kids to bed.
Mothers that stay home with their children often have it even worse. Their job doesn't end at 5 PM. Anyone who spends all day with children knows that as much fun as it can be, it's also
incredibly hard work. Having done both, I can honestly say that I was more exhausted after a day at home than a day at the office.
So what’s going on? Are some moms somehow encouraging this notion that mom must do everything? Are some dads not being expected to share the child-rearing load?
I don’t know the answer, but I do know that kids need more. For example, last year, one of FPG’s studies found that in families with two working parents, fathers had greater impact than mothers on their children's language development between ages 2 and 3. Researchers videotaped pairs of parents and their 2-year-old children in their homes during playtime. The children whose fathers used more diverse vocabularies had greater language development
when they were tested one year later. However, the mothers' vocabulary did not significantly affect a child's language skills.
It may seem strange to be writing about the role of fathers the day after Mother's Day. But perhaps it's as good as time as any to be reminded that parenting is a full-time job for both moms and dads.
Submitted by tzimmerman1 on May. 12, 2008, 4:19 pm
I was recently at an evening work event where a woman said to me, "Your husband agreed to put the kids to bed?"
I'd like to say that I was shocked that anyone would ask such a question, but I’m not. The vast majority of couples I know with children are living an updated version of the 50's lifestyle. Many mothers are working outside the home while still being almost solely responsible for changing dirty diapers, cooking dinners, giving baths, and putting kids to bed.
Mothers that stay home with their children often have it even worse. Their job doesn't end at 5 PM. Anyone who spends all day with children knows that as much fun as it can be, it's also
incredibly hard work. Having done both, I can honestly say that I was more exhausted after a day at home than a day at the office.
So what’s going on? Are some moms somehow encouraging this notion that mom must do everything? Are some dads not being expected to share the child-rearing load?
I don’t know the answer, but I do know that kids need more. For example, last year, one of FPG’s studies found that in families with two working parents, fathers had greater impact than mothers on their children's language development between ages 2 and 3. Researchers videotaped pairs of parents and their 2-year-old children in their homes during playtime. The children whose fathers used more diverse vocabularies had greater language development
when they were tested one year later. However, the mothers' vocabulary did not significantly affect a child's language skills.
It may seem strange to be writing about the role of fathers the day after Mother's Day. But perhaps it's as good as time as any to be reminded that parenting is a full-time job for both moms and dads.
Comments
This is a great post. As a mother of multiples my husband had to step up to the plate as soon as they were born. We were almost out numbered. Now that they are a little over two we both have equal duties when it comes to the boys. I started working part time a little over a year ago. This was good for the entire family. The boys got to be with sitters & people other than me, my husband took on more house chores & more evening duties alone with the boys. In April I went away to Reno to speak at a conference while he stayed home with the boys. When I told people at the conference that my husband had the boys all by himself for 4 days they were shocked. My husband is a great dad & an even greater husband. I could never be able to do what I do without his help. Thanks again for the post.
I think some moms do encourage the notion that moms must do everything when it comes to child-rearing and taking care of our homes. For some, I think it's a way for them to say "I'm in charge."
Interesting study. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your comments. My husband and I both work full-time and parent full-time.
I do feel like a 50's woman a good bit of the time I just would like a break and occassionally I get it The positive of the above info is I get a lot of love sweet love from my children I wish the dad would spend more time with them