High School Pranks

Some disappointing/sad stories out of Wake County schools this week.

Two high school pranks are making headlines and one kid is fighting for his life.

Several kids were injured while trying to place a sailboat on the campus at Leesville High School. It might just be funny if the driver wasn't allegedly drinking and three of his passengers were injured, one severely.

And then seven are accused of pouring baby oil on the floor and spraypainting at East Wake High School.

Sexting and Cell Phones

A case of sexting (sexually explicit messages sent by cell phone) happened among students at Salem Middle School in Apex. The activity happened off campus so the school system isn't looking into it. Read more about it here.

What's sad about it, though not surprising anymore, is that these kids are in middle school when (echoing the words of the Apex police captain) kissing a boy was a big deal.

Click here for some tips on how to talk to your kids about sex and technology from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. The group's survey found that 21 percent of teen girls and 18 percent of teen boys sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves.

So do you have tweens/teens with cell phone? Do you know what they're doing with them? Do you have rules that you all follow? Please share.

Dad's Letter to his 16-year-old girl

Another tear jerker ... this one is by Dennis Rogers, a former columnist at The N&O. He wrote it in 1978 to his daughter on her 16th birthday. Really sweet.

Here's how it starts ...

"For all the little girls about to become women, but mostly for their daddies ...

You looked at me that first day and I knew my life would never be the same again. It was in your eyes, blue eyes that would hardly focus.

Those baby eyes met mine for an instant and that special love between a daddy and his little girl began to grow."

Read more by clicking here.

Teen Murder in Wake County

Maybe this was already a forum, and I missed it???

Today's headlines are too sad, too infuriating, to even contemplate.  Four teens murder their friend for no real reason.   Is this a wake-up call of outrage?  or just another cold-blooded murder that we dismiss with a shrug.   So sad.  Is this the world we want to live in?  Of courrse not.  Then what can we do?  The violence doesn't seem to be a rare aberration, but closer to an unsurprising event.   We are no longer in the projects -- those easily ignored poverty zones of violence that the majority of the middle class can ignore.  Violence is in uppermiddle class suburbia now.     Remember when smoking grass used to be scandalous!  We are talking group execution here.   By children.   The event seems too awful to even contemplate, still,  I think this is a good forum for discussion.  People should talk about community events like this.

Choking Games

I feel like I've heard about teens playing these "choking games" on some primetime news show. But it's very sad to see a local teen may have died playing the game where kids strangle themselves in an attempt to get high. Here's the story, which includes some warning signs.

Have you ever heard of this? Ever worried about your own teen?

What's With Teens These Days?

So there's been the brawl at Triangle Town Center earlier this year, the numerous fatal car wrecks in Johnston County, the cheerleader facing drug charges, the fights at Wake County high schools, and now this - a 17-year-old is charged with beating a Cary couple and raping the woman over the weekend.

The vast majority of teens are great, wonderful people. But it seems like we're hearing more and more bad news about local teens these days.

Do you think there are more of these incidents? Or are we just hearing about them more? What, if anything, needs to be done about it?

Teens at the Mall

There's a story today in The N&O about teens hanging out at the mall. It's hardly anything new. I did it as a kid.

But it raises some interesting points. Malls do lure young kids (or at least their moms) to the mall with indoor playgrounds and events. But once the kids get older, it's a different story. 

Did you hang out at the mall as a kid? And do you let your teens hang out there? Are there many alternatives around here for them?

CPR/First Aid/Fiearms/CCH Class/Unarmed Self-Defense

I'm a Paramedic Certified by the American Heart Association to teach CPR, AED, Choking Management, and First Aid for infants, children and adults. The first 2 to 3 minutes in an emergency is the most critical time in a medical emergency, and the average person can learn lifesaving techniques in 3 to 4 hours. I believe this is a must for all parents. I can come to you, or set up a class. A minimum of 8 students is required.

I'm also certified to teach the following:

Pistol, Rifle, Home Defense (NAR).

Concealed/Carry Handgun Class (N.C. Department of Justice).

Unarmed Self-Defense (Martial Arts Experience).

Contact me for more information.

Van

Almost New Jeep Overland Jogging Stroller

For Sale:  Jogging stroller bought new, only used a few times.  Grey with turqoise stripes.  I can send picture or you can come see it.  Asking $120 919-389-7970

Teen Social Bullying

"Bullying" is a term that will bring different pictures to the minds of people.  We all know toddlers and young children will 'bully' each other with and without menace, as they are trying to figure out the social rules as they grow.  But bullying in the teen years has changed dramatically since this mom was that age.

Teens today deal with all the 'usual' social angst and insecurities that we grew up with, but today it's compounded by instant communication via phones and Facebook.  A situation that would cool down by separation of angry teens is extended and expanded exponentially through these electronic medium.  And today, sadly, the consequences of bullying are far too often traumatic for not just the child bullied, but innocent bystanders as well.

Recently, my son's group of five close friends went through a bad stage.  It seemed that each week one of the guys was on the outs with the rest.  Too often lately, it'd been my son.  It peaked on a day when first the rest avoided him around the neighborhood and then, when they met up at a park, them leaving him there alone.  It ended that night with Facebook exchanges that definitely upped the ante.  It was devastating for him, and heartbreaking for me.

I realize our kids need to learn how to deal with such situations, but I have also learned in 20 years of parenting that we parents need to step in much more often than we're led to believe, because the fact is our teens are NOT adults, and they need guidance throughout the teen years.  I have learned that even when I was sure they weren't listening, they were doing so closely.

So after I said goodnight late that night to an extremely sad young man, I decided to email one of the boys' mothers, one I knew better than the rest; one I had learned through casual discussions on the sidelines had a similar parenting philosophy.  This was not a decision I made lightly.  You never know today how parents will react to being told their kids have done something wrong.  I have been called a liar, told my son was one, told I just needed to let them handle it and all too often been told there was no way their child could've done what I said.  So I was trepedatious, but I wrote it anyway.  I explained what had happened,  and admitted that the next time it could very well be my son who'd be one of the bullies instead of the 'bullee'.  I said I knew we could not force them to be friends or to talk, but that we could guide them to either be friends to each other or not, and stop the emotional roller coaster they'd been putting themselves on.  I asked for her advice and opinion, and requested that she tell me if she knew of ways my son had contributed to the current situation.  And then I sent it off, trusting cyberspace to convey my heartbreak, my fear and my questions the way I felt them, borne of a piercing pain deep in my heart and soul.

The next morning, I found a new 'village.'  You see, I've always believed in the idea of it taking a village to raise a child.  I grew up in a blue collar area where every mother was my mother, or just as well was, since I couldn't take a wrong step without it being back to mom before I got home.   Well, this mom called me first thing.  Her son had already told her the night before what they'd done, and she'd been appalled.  My note was the icing on the cake.  She called the other mothers and told them what had happened, and they too were on the same page.  The group of us talked and realized we each had found a heretofore unknown support system, right in our neighborhood.  They made it clear they agreed that it had reached the point for parental guidance, and handled it with each of their sons. 

The boys?  Well, let's just say that each of these parents got to see that the seeds of conscience that they'd spent 15 years germinating in their boys flower that week.  On the bus home from school, before they'd even heard they were in trouble, they had apologized to my son, righting his world with a few words.   They weren't off the hook at home, but the fact they'd owned up to their actions on their own was huge. 

It was, after all was said and done, both the best and worst of weeks.  All of us involved grew a bit more, and our boys took a few more step toward being responsible, compassionate young men.  I feel a sense of support I'd not felt before, and know the others feel the same.

Our boys will fight again, and no doubt they will drift in and out of friendship over the coming years.  We parents can't control that and shouldn't.  But through this incident I was reassured that no matter how fast society tries to hurry our kids along to adulthood, it's too early to throw in the parental towel during the teens.  And I have kindred spirits out there who have learned the same thing.  As I always say when talking about parenting teens, there's safety in numbers.